will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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