M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
