Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
