I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
