its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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