After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
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