We're facebook friends in real life
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She said her name was "party"
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
