Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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