watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
