sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
