please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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