Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
