She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
