I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
