I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
