My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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