Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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