don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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