and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
