I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
