So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
