There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
should my penis look like a turkey
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
