I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
