just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
