Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
