so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
vagina is talking i cant
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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