My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
