it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
