My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
