College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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