new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
