Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
