I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
