just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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