my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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