You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
