I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
