Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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