I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
