The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
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