Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
