He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
