Tell her she can't have a vagina
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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