She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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