dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
