Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
