do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
