i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
