I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you will always have a special place in my vag
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
