Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
