ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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