Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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