we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
