Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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