It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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