I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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