god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
