brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
