he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
